Mortal Merchandise!

Just in time for Christmas...of 2026

I’ve never had a site without having merch, and I’m not going to start now. especially since I’m always coming up with ideas for stuff. Maybe I’ll be the only one to wear it, but I don’t care. This stuff is made to order anyway.

The very first LYT-shirts I ever made were paid for upfront at a warehouse in L.A., and lasted a long time. It was good quality stuff, and I even sold a few, but mostly they were gifts. Then Cafepress became a thing, and while their shirts were less lasting, they were great for photo-printed products like custom calendars. Spreadshirt was better, though at a certain point their deco just peeled off. lasted about a decade first, at least. And yeah, I had fun with products like thongs being available in their store to customize, so it got pretty silly at times.

To start with, I just have four items in the new store, which was vouched for by my longtime friend Jammes Luckett.

First, the CM Punk-inspired “best film critic in the world” shirt. Like every item thus far, it also includes the MortalCinema.com URL.

If you’d rather have that on a coffee mug, you can.

If you aren’t ready to call me the best in the world yet, I have another message: I’m not going away. Let the world know with this sleeveless tee.

Lastly, of course I have a baseball cap. It’s pretty basic, but cool.

Assuming you want any merch, what would you like to see more of? I can do atheist/political tees (“Most prophecy is bullshit” shirts, anyone?), quotes, or just more LYT stuff. I’m going to stick to text-based stuff for now, until I see how the quality pans out.

Tell me what you want, what you really really want.

Prefer not to subscribe via Substack? You can leave a tip through Buy Me a Coffee instead.

You can also do PayPal.