LYT's Fast Food Review: Sonic Unicorn Dreams Slush
As we continue to wonder what unicorns taste like
Unicorn, it seems to me, is an extraordinarily malleable flavor, albeit one primarily used in desserts (a “unicorn steak burger,” with edible glitter in the meat, would be a bridge too far, one suspects). Does unicorn taste like birthday cake? Cotton candy? The principle behind most unicorn “flavored” items would seem to be bright colors, and the notion that unicorns exist only in the imagination. They're ephemeral, like clouds and birthday cake. (Let’s just pretend your body agrees with that.)
Sonic is the first fast food chain I can think of to lean into the unicorn dessert concept, and they're going full-charge ahead into the notion that people who like unicorns want pink and cute. The Unicorn Dreams Slush is depicted in ads as a bright, bright pink with blue pearls throughout; in actuality, it's closer to a clearer purple. The slushy drink has cream on top with pink sugary sprinkles, so at least that aspect of bright pink is prserved from dilution on its firm crème cloud of floating island. It's worth sticking a finger in if nobody is looking, to taste that flavored sugar by itself – the cotton candy flavor is most overwhelmingly potent in that layer.
To complete the theme, the drink comes with a straw shaped like a unicorn horn. There are four different ones to collect of you so choose – two color-changers, one glow-in-the-dark, and one with glitter – I got the glitter. You put the wide end in the drink, and the pearls are malleable enough that they'll stretch through the thin part. Or as I put it to Julia as she did it, “The blue balls squeeze through the horn as you suck it up...” and then I realized what that sounded like.
Julia managed a more innocent spin on it when she initially spit out the pearl, and noted the shape. “It's a unicorn tear!” she exclaimed, excitedly. These popping pearls have more resilient membranes than I'm used to, but do eventually burst under the tongue, and indeed, do come through the straw.
At first, it was hard to determine a flavor beyond “cold and sweet,' and admittedly, on a hot summer day, not much more matters than that. We both sensed notes of grape, though that's not an advertised part of the flavor profile, and may have been psychological because it's purple.
Officially, “The vibrant pink cotton candy Slush is swirled with blue raspberry bursting bubbles, topped with a fluffy cloud of whipped topping and a sprinkle of shimmering pink cotton candy sugar crystals.” Overwhelmingly it felt like a blue raspberry Slush Puppy, but with an important qualifier – it tastes like my childhood memory of said Blue Slush Puppy, and not necessarily what the thing would actually taste like today. Not to syrupy, and just watery enough. It's light enough not to make you sick. As you reach the bottom, the flavor gets more concentrated, and it tastes more fruity.
Towards the end I stirred it up to try mixing the cream part with the slush. This made it taste more sour, somehow, though not in a bad way. I'm not sure the cream and slush really ever are meant to mix, but it gave it that whipped topping on fruit salad kind of profile conflict. Popping pearls, I always like, though I have friends who do not agree. They're far superior to gross-ass chewy boba, though they look equally like frogspawn when suspended in thick liquid (thank you, Egghead and Twinkie!).
The Unicorn Dreams Slush is $3.99 and only comes in one size, which is a pretty good size for sharing if you're an adult, and enough to make you crazy-hyper if you're a selfish kid. I'm not sure what anyone will actually use the “collectible” horn straws for afterward, but maybe handy moms can attach them to a headband or something. It's unfortunate the New Day are bad guys now.
If you haven’t been following me on TikTok (and the numbers suggest you have not), here’s a bonus review: FRIENDS cereal!
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