“How Do I Get My Movie Reviewed?”

So you want a critic to give you a quote, eh?

Nobody ever seems to really explain this, perhaps because they don't have the time or the forum. Since I have both, let's do this. Bookmark the page, y'all. No paywall on this one.

So you've made your movie. Or maybe your friend or client has, and you want to publicize it. No major distributor has picked it up immediately, so you need to get the word out. Reviews would help, especially if they're good, and after looking around, you just know a couple of critics for whom the film will likely resonate. You find their social media – we all have one, as we have to self-promote these days – and you send them a DM asking for a review. Will that work?

The answer is...maybe. If you're wondering why you see the reviews you do here at ill LYTeracy, in some cases it's because the movie makers or publicists have hit me up. Stream, BANR, Astral Plane Drifter, and Make Me Famous are among those that I've reviewed simply because people asked. But even though I say “simply,” it actually isn't that simple. Bear with me while I actually use subheadings – a thing other sites require for better Google results but I am only using here for actual clarification (imagine that!). I'll have to see if it helps traffic as a side effect. Moving on...

Know What You're Asking

In most cases, if you are asking a critic to review your movie, you are asking them to work for free. To take that thing they do professionally, using that expertise honed over many years, and give you hours of their time with no compensation. And by the way, you cannot pay them. Or rather, you should not. I personally am not opposed in theory to publicists who pay for reviews, provided there is no quid pro quo expectation of a guaranteed thumbs-up afterwards; Rotten Tomatoes, however, is very opposed, and will strip a critic's status for doing that. If you can find one who doesn't care about that, good for you. In general, though, none will be willing to risk it unless their job status is secure regardless.

So you're asking a critic to work for free. But wait – aren't there exceptions? If they review my movie in their publication where they are salaried, don't they get paid whatever it is?

This brings us to the next point.

Know to Whom You Are Pitching

Let's say you've decided that the critic your film will most vibe with is Amy Nicholson of the L.A. Times, or Germain Lussier of io9. They're not hard to find; messaging them should be easy! They may be happy to hear from fans, but they probably won't help you get a review and here's why: salaried critics usually do not make their own assignments!

I cannot stress this point enough: if you want a review from your favorite publication, find out who the film editor or arts editor is, and hit THEM up, rather than the critic. If you like, suggest which critic you think will be most simpatico; they can ignore that, or not. Unless your movie is in a festival, though, and the critic has some leeway in what they see at the festival, you'll have little sway with them personally over their assignments, unless all you'd be happy with is a Tweet. Bear in mind, too, that some sites *coughNerdistcough* will regulate the critic's film fest viewings, too, insisting they only write about movies with sufficient SEO.

Yes, Search Engine Optimization matters a lot to any major online publication. Online SEO isn't necessarily the same as box office – for example, Mark Hamill doesn't guarantee a multi-million dollar opening, but an article about him is guaranteed a certain amount of traffic. If you are pitching a site like Topless Robot used to be, where I chose the content but was subject to traffic quotas and corporate ownership, that SEO may make all the difference. Style your pitch accordingly – if you don't have anyone famous, explain what makes your movie topical and likely searchable.

Now, me as a guy with a Substack, not giving a crap about SEO or editorial demands? I'm much wider open. And lemme tellya something, BROTHER...I would never have been able to review something like BANR at any of the publications I've been at in the last decade or so. Now I can do what I want, so on a whim, I did.

Still...

Don't Be Stupid

Pitch your movie BEFORE it comes out. This matters a LOT. A publication like he L.A. Times won't even consider reviewing a movie that's opened already and they missed the first time, unless it becomes a massive phenomenon they can't ignore. Someone like me has to at least have a future date when audiences can see the thing, because if they have no possibility of seeing it as yet, why would they read the review? Don't bother approaching anybody unless they can get a review out that can, at the very end, tell readers how they can see the thing. Even if it's difficult, i.e. it's only playing at the Malibu flea market on Thursdays before 9 a.m. Give us at least that much.

It should go without saying if you have a decent publicist, but you should also make sure to have an easily viewable screener, a press kit that clearly identifies which actor plays which character, and photos the reviewer has permission to use in the review, along with appropriate credits.

Keep in mind too that even if you are sure your favorite critic will like your movie, they may not. Don't argue with them about it – they just gave you free labor, regardless. Accept it with grace. Critics are just moviegoers with more analytical and verbal skills – are you going to argue with every moviegoer who doesn't like it? Thank them for their time and move on to the next one. If you make yourself a pain in the ass to a critic who donated their time to you, you risk poisoning the well for the next filmmaker who wants a review.

I will add it's not a pure donation – I trust that people come to my substack in part for the curation, and that any review I choose to do is worth it to my subscribers. At this stage, I am basically paid in traffic, and subscriptions. So it's not wholly selfless, but understand that virtually every movie out there – except some of the major releases – is sending me invites, and I have to pick and choose, as doing all of them is impossible. Convenience is a big factor, since I cannot always make screenings in theaters. Still, now that I am finally able to say “yes” to people who message me, and with my 2025 resolution to uplift other writers, I do want to help give the little guys a boost.

I Wish It Were, but This Ain't My Day Job

Most critics work multiple jobs, because nobody pays. Understand the toll that takes. As an indie filmmaker, you probably know that better than anyone – the day job supplements your art. I used to do this full-time, but Substack is for more my spare time at the moment. Respect that I'm going above and beyond...and after this, will probably get a barrage of pitches.

I'm okay with that, but you have to be okay that I might not get to you.

With all that said, go make your pitches in more targeted fashion! And may the best of luck be with you.

DISCLAIMER: Every critic has their own arbitrary rules, so consider this the starter rather than the main course.

Images of The Critic courtesy of Fox.

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